Tag Archives: mental health

Education is Key – A Meditation

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When we have a mental illness, it’s imperative to learn all we can about it in order to understand it, because understanding leads to the best collaboration with healthcare professionals when making decisions for our care and medication and treatment choices. Understanding leads to the best advocacy for ourselves when dealing with employers, family, and friends who may or may not get how mental illness affects our performance and behaviors. Understanding leads to self-compassion and patience during times when we are feeling low and can’t do what we want. Knowing it is part of the disease and not part of our character can help save our self-esteem and self-worth.

Today, I will ask my healthcare professional for, or research on my own, two sources to learn something I didn’t already know about my mental illness.

To the Worrier – A Meditation

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Worrying is a natural part of life. There isn’t one adult person who hasn’t worried about something at some point in his or her life. It is when the worry starts affecting your mental health by way of anxiety and depression, and your physical health (your sleeping, your eating, ulcers, etc.) that it becomes a problem.

We live in a time-based reality. Past, present, and future. Worrying is a past and future minded activity. We are either thinking about something in the past that has already happened, or thinking about something in the future that hasn’t happened yet (and sometimes about something in the future that may or may not even happen.)

This leaves the present time as the only place for us to escape our incessant worrying. We do this by engaging in activities that distract us and keeping our focus on the task at hand; by paying close attention to our surroundings at all times – really listen to the birds tweet, fully take in the grass’ green and the sky’s blue; listen to each word of the song on the radio, each note that is played instead of daydreaming about your worries while driving in the car.

This is called being “mindful”, and it keeps us out of past and future time and out of worrying. The mind doesn’t like it and will try to pull you back into past and future, but you can fight it by consciously choosing to stay in the present moment by never doing anything on “auto-pilot” again. Feel whatever you do with all of your senses and you will be in mindfulness.

Today, I will practice mindfulness or present-time living, and I will know freedom from worry and anxiety, even if only for brief moments.

Mind, Body, Spirit – A Meditation

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Mind, body, and spirit are all important parts of a person. When one is ill the others suffer as well. Sometimes those of us with mental illness become so focused on our mind and its problems that we forget to address body and spirit issues as well; issues that could help improve the mind.

What do we do each day to take care of mind, body, and spirit. Are we taking our medications as prescribed? Using positive cognitive skills? Exposing ourselves to healthy media and relationships? Are we eating well-balanced meals? Staying away from drugs and alcohol? Exercising? Do we take time for spiritual practice? Prayer? Meditation? Yoga? Mindfulness? Time alone with nature?

Today, I will pick one area – mind, body, or spirit – and research or think of one action I can take to improve my health in this area. Then I will begin this action within the week.

On Being Consistent – A Meditation

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So often with mental illness being consistent in our daily tasks and responsibilities is difficult. We want to shower everyday, but it is not always manageable due to severe depression. We want to finish the tasks we start, however, mania keeps us frantic and unfocused. Showing up for family events and dates with friends can be daunting when anxiety takes hold and won’t let go.

Yes, being consistent, “a man of your word,” so to speak, is not always possible when you have a mental illness. Guess what? That is ok. Really, it is, because having a mental illness is not a choice; it’s not a matter of will power, or want, or preference, or feeling like doing this or that or not. It is a medical condition that directly affects the centers in our brains responsible for decision-making, motivation, concentration, and emotional regulation, just to name a few.

Today, I will remind myself that my mental illness is not a choice, but a disease I did not ask for nor that I want, and the effect it has on the consistency of my behaviors is sometimes more than I can control. I will be kind to myself and cut myself some slack when I do not live up to my own expectations consistently.

How to Avoid Post Holiday Winter Blues

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After all of the fun and excitement of the holidays are behind us, how can we avoid the let down that comes so quickly into the new year?

Personally, I was feeling depressed one measley day after Christmas!  After a month of adventurous shopping to find just the right gifts to thrill of getting our first ever REAL Christmas tree, the holiday season seems like it is going to be hard for me to let go of this year.  It feels as if letting go of the season itself means letting go of the joy of the season as well.

I suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a mental illness where one’s mood state significantly changes from season to season.  In the winter months, my mood has a tendency towards depression.  There are ways, however, I can fight the depression that comes from both post holiday blues and SAD.

One thing I can do is keep some of my seasonal decorations up well into the cold months of February.  Maybe not Santa and his reindeer, but snowmen and snowflakes make for fun winter decor.

In an effort to extend the social benefits of holiday parties, I could make it a point to host small get-togethers once a month in January and February.  I must remember that social isolation can increase my depression.

I could send out Valentine’s and give small Valentine’s Day gifts (to select individuals), like I did with Christmas cards and gifts, to stay in a holiday-type spirit throughout winter.

Many people, myself included, tend to go to church only on special occasions like Christmas.  Continuing to attend service every Sunday can keep that feeling of spirituality and connectedness to something greater than myself alive. I plan to do this; I’ve already declared it as a new year resolution.

Some people volunteer or donate money or gifts around the holidays. We all know the recipients of our time, talents and treasures need them year-round, so why not continue giving well past the holiday season?  It will be good for them and us, too!

Finally, and specifically for those with SAD, light therapy can help chase depression away. I have used this in the past and it has been very beneficial for me.  Be sure to talk with your doctor before trying this, however, especially if you have bipolar, because it can trigger mania or mixed states if used improperly.

What are some other things you do or you can come up with to do to avoid those post holiday and winter blues?

Seven Ways to Cope with Indecision and Mental Illness

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Indecision and Mental Illness

I am feeling the nudge to write a post here today, and as I was sitting here pondering what topic I should write about many things related to mental health came to mind: stress of the upcoming holidays, social media addiction, shopping compulsion, and comorbid diseases to name a few.  My mind fluttered back and forth and back again around each topic.  I couldn’t decide.  Suddenly, I realized this is how I’ve been living my days for the last several years, in a state of indecisiveness.

Interestingly, indecisiveness is a symptom of many psychiatric conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, psychosis and personality disorders.  Knowing this makes me feel better because at least there is a reason for my difficulty with making decisions versus it merely being a character flaw.

There are times, however, when I can make decisions, but they are usually impulsive and harmful, such as deciding to buy too many clothes or starting too many projects at one time.  For the most part, however, I either don’t trust my own decisions because of my history of impulsivity or I can’t make decisions and often defer to others to decide many things for me, such as what to watch, where to eat, what to buy, etc.

One of the biggest factors contributing to my indecisiveness is my fear of not knowing which choices I make will bring on symptoms of my illnesses.  I know what many of my triggers are after years of dealing with them, but not all of them.  Moreover, the ones I do know are inconsistent; sometimes they trigger symptoms, sometimes they don’t.  Therefore, deciding to risk it or not is always a difficult thing to do.

For me, indecisiveness also comes from lack of motivation.  I normally function at a mild level of depression, so making choices means taking action which is challenging at times.  More than even starting the action or task is finishing it.  I usually lose energy, mentally or physically, before completing tasks, and knowing this about myself prevents me from ever starting them.

This all sounds very depressing, and I guess looking at it from an objective point of view it is.  Honestly, though, I am so used to it I barely notice it is a problem.  I am sure if I found a way to deal with it I might rise out of my mild level of depression.  Maybe you all have some tips you can share?

Here’s what some experts have suggested:

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7 Ways to Cope with Indecision*

1. Forget About Always Appearing Smart

I can definitely relate to this.  I think my perfectionistic tendencies and fear of failing keep me from deciding to do things.

2. Trust Your Gut

I find this is often the only way I can make decisions, albeit impulsively.

3. Beware of the Paradox of Choice

The fewer the options, the easier the choice.  Therefore, maybe limit how much advise you seek.

4. Prioritize Your Demands and Fears

Make sure you have healthy boundaries established with the people in your life.

5. Act in a Moral and Sincere Manner

Do the right thing.

6.  Don’t Over Analyze Things

Act, evaluate results, make adjustments and move on.

7.  Flip a Coin

When all else fails, call it heads or tails.

*Source: Seven Ways to Conquer Indecision

5 Tips on How to Love Yourself When You Have a Mental Illness

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This morning, my middle schooler brought to my attention a quote she heard on social media:

“Can anyone say they truly love themselves?”

I asked her if she loved herself and to my relief she said, yes, except for how tall she is. 🙂  Then she asked me if I loved myself.  My breath caught in my throat as years of self-hatred flashed before my eyes, and I hesitated for half a second before giving her my best answer:  I love my true self, but I don’t like everything that I do.

I prayed she didn’t notice my hesitation, because I want to lead by example and instill a good sense of self-worth within her, but apparently, and thankfully, she already has that despite my poor self-esteem and overall dissatisfaction with my appearance and behaviors.

I went on to explain to her that our “true selves,” our spiritual selves, are different from our human selves, and that I really love my true self, the pure, perfect side of me.  It is the human side, the ill side, that is hard to like sometimes.  She looked at me like I was crazy, because, well, she’s only twelve and I was getting way too philosophical for her.  🙂

Our conversation got me thinking though, about how much I dislike myself because of my mental illness, its symptoms and subsequent behaviors – the depression that leads to crying and laying in bed all day, the irritability that leads to losing my temper with the kids, the anxiety that leads to extra work for my husband to do.  All of these things surmount to loads of guilt and self-hatred, thereby perpetuating the symptoms which caused the behaviors in the first place.

How do those of us with mental illness combat this destructive thinking; disrupt this negative thought cycle?

How do we come to love ourselves despite our mental illnesses?

Here are some ideas:

  1. Change our thoughts – I know, I know – easier said than done.  A long time ago, I even wrote about how impossible it can be, (How Positive Thinking Can Be a Crock) but try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.  For example, instead of thinking, “I’m such a loser,” say to yourself, “I am a kind, thoughtful person with friends who enjoy my company.”  If you can’t bring yourself to think of positive thoughts, that is ok.  Don’t stress over it.  Just being aware of the negative ones is a good start.
  2. Keep a thought journal and write down any negative thoughts you have that day in one column.  In a second column challenge those thoughts.  For example, when my daughter said she didn’t like the fact that she is taller than everyone else, I said, “Even though being tall is an advantage when playing volleyball?”  She said, “Oh yeah, I guess I do like being tall then.”
  3. Make a list of positive attributes in your journal.  If you have a hard time coming up with things, ask friends or family members for ideas.  Keep adding to the list and refer to it often.
  4. Practice, practice, practice.  Just like learning any new skill or playing a sport, you won’t get good at this over night.  It will take lots of repetition before it becomes more automatic.  I have been keeping a thought journal for almost two months now and I still have a hard time catching myself in the midst of self-criticism, but this brings me to the final tip:
  5. Don’t give up!  Keep trying.  Have faith that it will work and that your joy and peace of mind are worth it.

And remember:

You are not your mental illness.

Your true self is perfect.

Mental Illness and Seasons of Change

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It is the season of fall here in the northern hemisphere; a time where the temperatures cool down, the leaves change colors and begin to drop from the trees, the grass goes dormant, and the days grow shorter and shorter.  For a lot of people with mental illness, it is a time of depression.  The professionals call it “Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD.)”

I have SAD, although with the mood stabilizers I am currently on for my bipolar disorder, my seasonal depression is not as severe as it once was.  I used to use a light box to help combat my winter depression, but I haven’t needed it for years now.  And last winter, I didn’t experience a depressive episode at all, which was a miracle!  I made up for it this summer, but that is a different story.

While thinking about the changes that fall brings outside, I was also meditating on some changes I need to make within myself.  I thought letting go of behaviors and beliefs which are limiting my good physical and mental health was, in a way, symbolic of the way trees let go of their leaves.

I know I want to set healthier boundaries with some of the people in my life.  I tend to do too much for others while neglecting my own needs which leaves me mentally drained and physically ill.  The belief driving this behavior is that I must be perfect to gain other people’s approval and that I need other people’s approval to feel good about myself.  This belief causes me much anxiety, and when I fail, which I often do because no one is perfect, I feel depressed.

It is helpful for me to identify these types behaviors, and more importantly, the beliefs driving them, because they really do affect my mental health as much as the chemical imbalances in my brain do.

It is only by changing the conversation I have with myself in my head about what I believe that I am going to be able to successfully change my unhealthy behaviors.  I have to plant the seeds of new, healthier beliefs this fall and let old behaviors die off this winter which will hopefully give birth to greater peace of mind come spring (or earlier – but I’m doing a metaphor thing here.) 😉

What unhelpful beliefs can you let “fall” away, and what negative behaviors might die as a result?

 

6 Foods to Avoid to Fight Daytime Fatigue and Other Things I Should Be Doing

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Anyone who has a depressive disorder knows the agony of bone-deep, stuck-in-molasses, ever relentless fatigue.  Day in and day out, dragging yourself around with that hundred pound weight chained to your ankle; barely being able to make it out of bed to use the bathroom let alone eat.

Or maybe your fatigue is not that extreme.  Maybe it is more of an annoyance; decreasing your motivation; making everything seem like more of an effort.  Either way, there are several foods that actually increase sleepiness that you may want to avoid during the day.

6 Foods to Avoid To Fight Daytime Fatigue

  1. Bananas because they are high in magnesium – a muscle relaxant that will make you tired
  2. Red meat because a lot of energy goes into digesting its high fat content, thereby making you feel tired
  3. Cherries because they are high in melatonin, a natural sleep aid
  4. White bread, including pastries, white rice, pasta, muffins, and processed foods because all of the flour and sugar in them causes drowsiness, and their lack of fiber causes them to break down too quickly to offer a constant flow of energy
  5. Fish like salmon, halibut, and tuna because the body uses the Vitamin B6 in them to make melatonin (the sleep hormone)
  6. Turkey because it is high in tryptophan, which is an amino acid that increases serotonin levels, a relaxing brain neurotransmitter

These foods shouldn’t be avoided all together.  Consuming them in the evening just might be a better idea.

 

Another way to combat fatigue is to maintain a healthy weight, which is something I struggle with.  I’d be happy to lose about 15 pounds.  I’d be ecstatic to lose 20.  Something that came across my mailbox today caught my attention, and I wanted to pass it along because its suggestions for weight loss are, in general, I think, good for overall mental health, too.

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7 Ayurvedic Secrets for Weight Loss

Ayurvedic Medicine is one of the world’s oldest medical systems, originating in India more than three thousand years ago.  The idea behind these “secrets” is that as you become healthier over all, the weight will naturally come off.

  1. Sleep from 10pm to 6am every night
  2. Exercise for 45-60 minutes vigorously, sometime between 6-10am each morning
  3. No snacking; three meals a day only
  4. Include all six tastes at each meal (sweet, sour, salt, spice, bitter, astringent. See resource link below for food examples.)
  5. Eat your largest meal at noon; finish your last meal 2-3 hours before bed
  6. Sip hot water or tea throughout the day
  7. Practice meditation

I think I could do some of these.  I am darn close to a few – sleeping from 11pm-6:30am already; having only one snack, at night after dinner, which I am planning on cutting out starting tonight.  I do hot coffee throughout the day, does that count?  I practice meditation, but not regularly.  Could easily change that.  Largest meal at noon won’t happen because family dinner is in the evening.  However, by cutting out the nighttime snack I will have finished my last meal well before the three hour mark before bed.

I think including all six tastes at each meal will be a huge challenge because I eat so little for breakfast and lunch.  Literally, for breakfast I have a bowl of Cheerios. That is a sweet food, according to the list.  This morning, however, I did have a swallow of citrus juice, which is a sour taste, and I do have my coffee every morning, which is a bitter taste.  I could have popped a few grapes in my mouth for an astringent taste.  Maybe this will be easier than I thought.  The hard one is the exercising.  I have a huge aversion to it.  Sigh.  Baby steps.

What do you think of these secrets?  If you try them and they help you lose weight or just make you feel better, let me know.

Resource links:
https://chopra.com/ccl/7-ayurvedic-secrets-for-weight-loss

Bipolar Triggers

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There are external stimuli that trigger my bipolar symptoms. Strict schedules, time constraints, too much time out of the house, and extended family gatherings all wreak havoc on my mood stability. My anxiety sky rockets and, if left too high for too long, it triggers a major depressive episode.

Seasonal changes affect my moods as well. Each spring, without fail, as the grass turns green and tree buds bloom, so does my hypomania.  It lasts for about four to six weeks, fading out as the end of the school year approaches, which brings me to another trigger: change.

Each summer when my young children start summer break and each fall when they return to school, a mood shift occurs. Summer is unpredictable. It could be a return to stable from the hypomania of spring.  It could be a dip into depression.  In the fall, it is always a fall into depression. 

I’ve learned to manage my triggers by avoiding them whenever possible or at least by limiting them when appropriate. I say no to, not all but, most volunteer work. I limit my social commitments.  I get extra rest when pushed beyond what is comfortable for me.

I have to protect my mood at all costs. Does it always work?  No. Some things in life are just unavoidable. I have to cook and clean and run my kids places and show up for some commitments.  Sometimes these things all fall on the same week or day, and that’s when things get scary. That’s when I close my eyes and hope for the best while using the skills I learned in DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) as best I can. 

If my mood doesn’t bounce back after my external world settles down, that’s when I talk to my doctor about a medication change.  It happens a lot, and that’s Ok.  I have to stay on top of this bipolar thing. It’s a matter of life and death.

What are your triggers?  How do you deal with them?