“Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person’s ability to manage their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.”
– National Institute of Mental Health
Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) include the following.
Fear of abandonment
Unstable relationships
Unclear or shifting self-image
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors
Self-harm
Extreme emotional swings
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Explosive anger
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality
I have some of these symptoms but not all of them all of the time. I do fear my significant other leaving me through death. At this point we have enough history together that I don’t believe he will leave me willingly like I used to.
My self-image is in constant flux. I don’t know if I am a good person or a bad person much of the time. I often question my state of mind – whether I am mentally unstable or not, and whether my assessment of reality is true or not. I constantly seek reassurance from my significant other on these matters because I don’t trust my own judgement.
I used to have unstable relationships and impulsive self-destructive behaviors, including self harm, when I was younger. I still have the compulsion to self-harm when I become intensely overwhelmed by my emotions but I rarely give into it as it passes very quickly.
I have extreme emotional swings often within the same day and sometimes within the same hour! I don’t usually understand why this is happening or where the trigger is coming from. Although mindfulness helps me realize that it almost always has something to do with my thoughts – the story I am telling myself about events happening outside of me and within.
I do have chronic feelings of emptiness, often feeling like I have no purpose in life; constantly fighting feelings of loneliness and boredom.
I have problems with explosive anger when I feel like people have been unfair or unjust with myself or others. I have learned to curtail my anger in most other situations but those in which I become judgemental and intolerant my rage can be destructive to myself and my significant other who has to bear the brunt of my complaining and lamenting.
I am suspicious and question people’s motives ALL. OF. THE. TIME. I take things personally and tend to put myself at the center of the universe which makes everyone’s actions about ME instead of what they truly are which is about themselves and what they are dealing with or bringing to the situation based on their own beliefs, values, and histories. This is something that pains me most days and it is quite the hard habit to break.
I practice mindfulness, including in meditation; I pray to my higher self which helps me gain insight into my feelings and behaviors. I do movement therapy including stretching, yoga poses, and Tai chi. I deal with this mental illness along with several others in addition to chronic pain, so I suppose I am doing fairly well in spite of these things. I am always looking to do better, however, so if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments and tell me if you relate to anything I said in this article. Thank you.
Everyone has the potential to grieve losses in their life. Those with bipolar disorder don’t have a right to say they grieve more than others. However, they are at risk for extreme mood episodes as a result of a significant loss in their life, making their grief dangerous and potentially life threatening.
The loss doesn’t have to be a death. It can be a job, a relationship, or a tragedy without death like a severe illness or injury. It doesn’t have to involve someone who is personally known but can be related to a collective loss or tragedy of a famous person or someone in their community.
When a person with bipolar disorder experiences a loss, at a minimum, daily tasks may fall by the wayside. Worst case scenario the person becomes completely immobilized, ignores their most basic tasks such as hygiene and nutrition and starts having thoughts of harming him or herself.
Some ways to cope with a loss if you have bipolar disorder is to make sure you keep taking your medicine as prescribed.
Stay away from alcohol and recreational drugs which can bring you down even further and lower your inhibition when trying to stay safe.
Talk to someone about your feelings.
Journal about your thoughts and feelings.
Go to a support group.
Talk to your doctor.
Go to a therapist or counselor.
Get outside.
Go for a walk.
Spend time with animals or children.
Take a hot bath.
Take the time and care you need to ride out the emotions knowing they will pass.
Do not “should” yourself or judge or talk negatively to yourself about anything you’re not able to do while going through this time. This is the way your brain was made and it is not something you chose. Acceptance and self compassion are key to experiencing less suffering during these times.
What are some other ways you can or have coped with loss in your life?
988 is now available in the United States to contact if you are in a mental health, substance use, or suicide crisis! Please pass this information along.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s (DBT) premise is that two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time. For example, my parents did the best they knew how when raising me and they negatively affected my emotional development.
DBT trains the mind to think with a good balance between reason and emotion, calling this the “wise mind.” It also can keep you out of all or nothing or black and white thinking. There are many shades of grey with everything in life.
There are four main tenets of DBT. They are Distress Tolerance, Mindfulness, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Skills.
Distress Tolerance and Radical Acceptance
Distress Tolerance includes an idea called “Radical Acceptance” where you fully acknowledge the present moment reality. This does not equal condonement. Radical acceptance places you in a position of being able to make a plan to elicit changes in your life because you cannot change anything if you aren’t fully engaged in the acceptance of what currently is.
Distress Tolerance skills include distraction and self-soothing. Distract by engaging in pleasurable, non-destructive activities, focusing on helping others, doing chores, counting breaths or anything you can see, or distract by removing yourself from the situation.
Self-soothe any of your senses: smell, sight, sound, taste and touch. Use any input that makes you feel good that is non-destructive and not harmful to you or anyone else.
R.E.S.T.
Above all, make sure to use the “Rest” technique in any situation that is upsetting to you at the start. Relax (R), Evaluate the facts (E), Set an intention (S), Take action (T). The intention and take action steps could include some ideas from the distress tolerance skills.
Comorbidities in people with mental illness means they have another disorder in addition to their mental illness. This is quite common. I, for example, have bipolar disorder and chronic migraine.
Comorbidities do not have to be a mental disorder paired with a physical disorder. They can also be two or more mental disorders or two or more physical disorders.
Having more than one disorder has its challenges. For example, a person with both multiple sclerosis and depression would be treated for both conditions, but it would be important to take into consideration the overlap between medications that would be prescribed by different doctors.
For this reason, people with comorbid disorders should take good notes of their symptoms, medications and their side effects, and anything they and their doctors discuss at each appointment so that unwanted interactions are avoided. It is also important to have excellent communication with all providers so that everyone knows what everyone else is doing.
If you have comorbidities, you must be a persistent advocate for yourself to get the proper treatment plan in place to treat all of your disorders so that you can reach and maintain optimal health, both physically and mentally. By following the aforementioned suggestions you can be on your way to better health no matter how many comorbidities you have.
To take medication for a mental illness is a very personal choice. For me, medication has allowed me to live a life with some stability in my moods and has helped me to be a better wife, mom, and friend.Â
I have severe symptoms that do not subside without medication because I believe my brain is imbalanced with regards to certain neurotransmitters, such as Serotonin, Dopamine, and Norepinephrine. There are side effects, such as drowsiness and weight gain, but these need to be weighed against the benefits to decide if the medicine is worth taking or not.
Some people can manage their symptoms with non-medication interventions such as counseling, lifestyle changes, diet, prayer and meditation, exercise, and journaling/keeping mood charts to stay on top of their mental health status.
It is up to the individual whether or not to treat their mental illness with medication and it is none of everyone else’s business to criticize what they decide to do.
Any thoughts? Join the conversation and leave a comment.
Stress is physical, emotional, or psychological tension felt as a result of an event or thought that causes feelings of frustration, anger, or anxiety. In short bursts, stress can be helpful, like in getting you out of a dangerous situation or helping you meet a deadline. When chronic, however, it can be harmful to your health and contribute to the development of conditions such as
High blood pressure
Heart disease
Diabetes
Obesity
Depression or anxiety
Skin problems, such as acne or eczema
Menstrual problems
Common causes of stress include
Getting married or divorced
Starting a new job
The death of a spouse or close family member
Getting laid off
Retiring
Having a baby
Money problems
Moving
Having a serious illness
Problems at work
Problems at home
Signs of chronic stress include
Diarrhea or constipation
Forgetfulness
Frequent aches and pains
Headaches
Lack of energy or focus
Sexual problems
Stiff jaw or neck
Tiredness
Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
Upset stomach
Use of alcohol or drugs to relax
Weight loss or gain
Sometimes stress can be managed by getting the right amount of sleep, talking problems over with a trusted friend, getting regular exercise and proper nutrition, and generally taking good care of yourself. Other times if you find yourself having panic attacks, feeling overwhelmed for weeks on end, or unable to function at work or home, you should probably contact your doctor or mental health professional for some help.
With mental health providers already in limited supply the increase in the need for services due to the stresses caused by the pandemic has made finding help extra difficult as of late. If you are just starting out with problems, your primary doctor or ob-gyn might be a good place to start. In addition to doing an initial assessment, taking a history and prescribing medication, they can refer you to the appropriate mental health professional, if needed.
The obvious way to find providers is to check your health plan provider list. Consider those outside your area who offer teleheath services via the phone or computer. This could widen your options quite a bit.
Seeing providers out of network or paying out of pocket may be other options to facilitate access to providers, which unfortunately are more costly and not possible for many people. Although, some providers may offer a sliding-fee scale for those who are self pay that allows them to pay based on their personal income and what they can afford.
If you or your spouse are employed, you can check to see if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Plan (EAP) which is separate from the medical plan. Typically you can access counseling at no cost on a short-term basis. Check with your HR department.Â
If you are a student, take advantage of any free campus or university resources.
Your local church might offer pastoral counseling from a trained clergyman or woman which is usually free.
Some teaching colleges and universities may offer low-cost therapy provided by grad students who are supervised while they gain counseling experience. If there is such a school in your area, contact the psychology or behavioral health department and inquire.
SAMHSA is a government organization that is the go-to resource for locating affordable mental health care nationwide. Contact them at 1-800-662-4357 or online https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov
Online therapy is another option with chats with actual therapists from places like Better Help, TalkSpace or 7 Cups.com.
Theravive is a resource directory you could investigate for low cost therapists by state.
Open Counseling is another resource for attaining accessible care. The site indicates if providers are accepting new clients and many list their rates.
Open Path connects low-cost therapists to patients. I think you pay a lifetime membership fee and then get access to discounted rates on therapy sessions in the future.
You can also get professional help getting professional help by contacting NAMI support services. Call their helpline, 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) to find a chapter or services in your area.
If your mental health puts you in an immediate crisis, help is always available by going straight to the hospital emergency room. All emergency rooms have access to psychiatric care.Â
Are you having trouble accessing mental health services? What are you doing about it?
Ten years ago today I posted my first blog here at Write into the Light. Ten years! I feel like that is such a long time. Â
I started off writing daily meditations because I couldn’t find any meditation books specifically written for people with mental illness or mental health issues. Over the years my writing has evolved from those meditations to journal-type entries and poems, to essays and opinion pieces, and finally, reports on mental health research articles.
Regardless of the type of writing I post, all of it helps me process and cope with my own mental health symptoms and I hope helps others with the same. Writing has been one of my biggest coping skills when it comes to my mental illnesses, hence the name of this site.
There were many months I was inactive and even full years where I only wrote a few blogs at most depending on my health status. Several times I almost closed the site down but I never did because even though I would go periods without writing, the stats showed that people were still viewing my posts on a daily basis. And I thought, if the blog was helping someone by just being there then it was worth leaving up even if I wasn’t adding anything new to it at the time.
Over the last 10 years I’ve written over 360 posts and have had over 44,000 visitors and 65,000 views. I have close to 900 readers on WordPress, a tad over 300 Twitter followers, 1200 and something Facebook fans, and 25 email subscribers. Definitely not a big outfit by any stretch of the imagination, but a small little part of the mental health community that I hope is contributing enough in a way that is making a difference in someone’s morning, afternoon, or evening every once in a while.
I wonder who is out there who has been blogging for ten years or more. I am in contact with no one from my early days of blogging because their blogs have been dead for years and I miss some of them so much.
I am happy to have found new bloggers throughout the years, however, and thank every one of you for taking the time to follow, read, like and comment on my posts. I appreciate you and always enjoy connecting with you.
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