Tag Archives: anxiety

Acceptance – A Meditation

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There are many things we have no control over: people, places, things, events, the weather and time passing. This can be frustrating, depressing, and even scary.

There are many things we do have control over: how healthy we eat, how much we exercise, how we respond to life events, to people, places and things, and how well we take care of our health – physically, mentally and spiritually – by going to the doctor, taking our meds, meditating and/or praying.

The key is to accept the things we cannot change and to change the things we can. Acceptance does not mean we have to like them. It simply means we need to acknowledge they are reality and we do not have control over them.

Acceptance does not mean we accept unacceptable behavior from others. We have the right to defend ourselves. We are not meant to be doormats, but we must realize that ultimately, we have no control over the behavior of others, only our own.

Acceptance means letting go of tension, worry, and fear. Acceptance is the relaxing of our shoulders, the unclenching of our fists, the releasing of our jaw, the softening of our eyes, and the slowing of our breath. Today, I will accept the things I cannot change and I will know peace.

Study Comparing Bipolar II vs. Bipolar I

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A recent study showed that Bipolar Type II, often thought of as the less severe form of Bipolar Disorder, is actually worse than Bipolar Type I is some ways.

Some of the ways Bipolar II is more severe than Bipolar I:

  • increased comorbid anxiety
  • increased first-degree relative with mood disorder
  • more prior mood episodes
  • current depression
  • current antidepressant use
  • rapid cycling in the prior year
  • childhood onset

On the other hand, Bipolar II patients had significantly less hospitalizations and current prescription psychotropic use compared to Bipolar I patients.

Both groups had a statistically similar rate of prior suicide attempts.

Suicide – A Meditation

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Part of having a debilitating mental illness often includes thoughts of suicide. They are thoughts that come of their own accord. We do not wish them upon ourselves or create them of our own volition. They seem to appear out of no where, haunting our minds and our emotions; taunting our very existence.

Others may not understand these thoughts, but we know they are just another symptom of our depression. Just like sleep disturbances, appetite changes, loss of concentration, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and hopelessness, suicidal thoughts are another sign, although the most serious sign, that our depression is present.

When we are having these thoughts we must tell a professional or family member or friend about them. We must not keep these thoughts to ourselves. They are like poison and can be lethal if left untold and untreated.

Today, if I am having suicidal thoughts I will tell someone about them and seek profession help. The peace I long for is to be had in this life. I will fight for it. I will find it. It will be mine!

Routine – a Meditation

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Mental illness can leave us wandering about through our day, unfocused and aimless. Sleeping too much, watching too much television, and other forms of inertia, caused by depression and anxiety, are all too common.

Sometimes routine is a solution to our inactivity problem. Showering and making the bed everyday, doing one small chore every two hours, and eating meals at the same time are all examples of keeping a routine. Writing down our routine or a small list of things to do each day can help us achieve our goals.

I will state my intentions for today by creating a list of one to three things I would like to accomplish, and whether I accomplish them or not, I will know peace.

Taking a Break Meditation

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There are going to be times during the course of our illness when we need to take a break from our daily routine. Like it or not, our minds are different from those who do not have mental illnesses. Sure, everyone experiences anxiety, low moods, and irritability. However, those of us with mental health disorders do so at greater intensities. Our threshold for such mood states is much lower. Therefore, we need more downtime, more alone time, more time to process, more time to recuperate, more time to rest.

I will take the time I need to rest when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed with daily life, and I will know peace.

Call for Submissions

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I am calling for submissions to Write into the Light’s literary-art emagazine, Turtle Way. A new issue will come out in April, so send in your work (i.e., poetry, photos, art, essays, opinion pieces, meditations, quotes, jokes, prose, and stories) asap. Click here for submission guidelines.

How a Detox Bath Can Help Ease Depression Symptoms

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Anyone who has experienced depression knows how tired it can make you feel.  Surprisingly, metabolic toxic build up can make us feel pretty lousy as well.  Sluggish.  Run down.

In fact, when metabolic waste from toxins builds up in our body, we get sick. Functional medicine expert, Dr. Mark Hyman, says, “problems with detoxification is one root of illness. If you feel lousy, it’s likely you’re toxic.”

We all are exposed to toxins on a daily basis from the medicines we take to the foods we eat to the fluoride in our water to the pollutants in the air we breathe to the chemicals in the soaps we use to clean our bodies and clothes.

The liver does a great job of getting rid of toxins by sending them out through our bowel and bladder. Our skin releases toxins when we sweat as well, which brings me to the Detox Bath…

Typically, a detox bath is made with Epsom salt also known as magnesium sulfate, which not only draws out toxins, but has physical and mental health benefits of its own:

  • Eases stress and improves sleep and concentration
  • Helps muscles and nerves function properly
  • Regulates activity of 325+ enzymes
  • Helps prevent artery hardening and blood clots
  • Makes insulin more effective
  • Reduces inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps
  • Improves oxygen use
  • Flushes toxins
  • Improves absorption of nutrients
  • Helps form joint proteins, brain tissue and mucin proteins
  • Helps prevent or ease migraine headaches

 

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Vanessa Romero of Healthy Living How To provides the following guide to

How to Draw a Detox Bath

1. Add 5-10 drops essential oil (I love lavender) to 2 cups Epsom salt, then add to a standard tub full of water.

2. Ideally, you want the water quite hot as we are looking to create a nice sweat.

3. If your bath water is not filtered, add 1 cup of baking soda as this helps neutralize the chemicals, primarily chlorine, as well as increase mineral absorption.

4. Immerse yourself in the water, all the way up to your neck. You want as much of your body underwater as you can. Close your eyes, do some breathing exercises and soak for at least 20 minutes.

5. Once you are done soaking, rise out of the tub very slowly and cautiously. You may feel a little dizzy and light-headed, this will go away as you shower off quickly in cool water.

6. It is important not to use harsh soaps or shampoos as your pores are open and will just absorb the chemicals found in those products.

7. Once dry you can apply a natural moisturizer like body butter, shea butter or coconut oil and some aluminum-free deodorant, but again no lotions with perfumes, dyes or chemicals.

8. Do not eat immediately before or after taking a detox bath.

9. Instead hydrate yourself with filtered water before and after.

10. Allow time after your bath to rest and rejuvenate.

I took a detox bath last night after a day overshadowed with depression and a slight migraine. Afterwards, I felt relaxed, lighter, airier, less stressed, and pain-free. I added mood lighting and music to my detox bath, so the whole experience was a great gesture of self-care which totally combats depression. So, yay! Score one for me! The detox bath wasn’t a lot of work and it had many benefits. I’ll definitely be doing another one again soon.

5 Reasons I Hate Leaving My House

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Anxiety is a bitch! It has been several years since I have had a full-blown panic attack – the one where you can’t breathe and you think you are dying – but on a regular basis I have bouts of anxiety where my heart races, I get a bit short of breath, and I fear I may go into panic mode. These smaller anxiety attacks, along with some low levels of depression, are enough to make leaving the house a big chore for me.

Top 5 Reasons I Hate Leaving My House

1) Showering takes more energy than I have on most days. And then there is the fixing of the hair, and OMG! make-up, and God-forbid getting out of my pajama pants. I mean, come on…that’s a lot to ask of a girl. By the time I do all of that I am ready for a nap!

2) Driving is stressful. I live in a busy metropolitan area and traffic is heavy. Patience, concentration, and sometimes aggressiveness are needed to safely navigate the roads around here – all of which I basically lack.

3) Social anxiety. Leaving the house often means going to some sort of social event, and I don’t feel comfortable around other people because small talk is like nails on a chalk board to me! I’m definitely an introvert and prefer to be alone or with my immediate family. Also, if it is a larger party, the noise and extra stimuli is overwhelming to my senses.

4) Fear of public places. Leaving the house also often means going to the store or some other public venue where crowds gather and strangers abound. Yikes! What if I see someone I know? What if I get mugged? Kidnapped? How claustrophobic I feel standing in lines and squeezing down isles. How it makes me lose my breath to bump into others or feel them in my physical space! And again, the noises, lights, and movement are all overwhelming to my senses.

5) Agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is an intense fear and anxiety of being in places where it is hard to escape, or where help might not be available. This would explain why if my husband is with me, I feel much less anxious when out of the house. He drives, I stick by him during parties, and follow him through the stores. Now if only he could shower for me. 🙂

Although I hate leaving the house, I do force myself to on a regular basis. Sometimes I have to take an anti-anxiety pill before I leave and sometimes I don’t. I think it is important for me to desensitize myself to these stressful situations as much as I can, because if I don’t my anxiety will only get worse.

I also grade the tasks in a way that will make them more successful for me. For example, when I go to the grocery store I only get a few items at a time, and leave the big list for my husband (he’s the best!) When my daughter has a 3-day sports tournament in a loud crowded gym, I will only attend one or two of the days. When going to a social event, we will only stay a short while or not go at all if I am not feeling up to it. We go out to eat early in the evening (with all the old people) so we don’t have to wait for a table. These are just a few examples of how I compensate for my increased anxiety.

As you can see, there are ways around anxiety. It doesn’t have to make you a prisoner of your own home. Although, sometimes it will. But it doesn’t have to all of the time.

How does your anxiety limit you, and what are some ways you have found helpful to decrease these limits?

Comorbid Bipolar and Anxiety Disorders

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The largest treatment study of bipolar disorder conducted to date found that more than half the study participants with bipolar disorder also had a comorbid anxiety disorder.*

I have been experiencing what I thought were hypomanic symptoms – decreased need for sleep, restlessness, increased productivity/creativity, project-oriented tasks, irritability, OCD behaviors, agitation, and distractibility.

However, since my over all mood was not elated or euphoric but rather anxious, my psychiatrist said I was experiencing anxiety and not mania. I do tend to cope with anxiety by “keeping busy” to distract myself and to work off all of that “nervous energy.” And I get a bit obsessive with cleaning and organizing my environment in an attempt to control my surroundings in some way when I am feeling “out of control” on the inside.

It is frustrating to get confused on what my symptoms mean, however. I guess that is what the doctors are there for – to assess and diagnose. I would like to think I knew myself and my illness a little bit better by now though, but I guess we are always learning, aren’t we? Do your symptoms ever confuse you?

*Reference

Mental Illness and Emotional Vulnerability

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This week I opened myself up to some close friends who didn’t yet know about my bipolar and alcoholism. The conversation shifted to topics where it became convenient for me to disclose this information to them in a natural way versus making some sort of out of the blue “announcement.”

They received the news quite graciously, and I felt neither judgment nor fear from them, but more support and curiosity than anything. They asked some questions about my experiences and shared some stories of other people they have known with the same conditions.

Yet, as I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t help but worry about the possible effects my disclosure may have on our friendship. Will their behavior change towards me in the future, even if subtly? Will they think differently of me? Will they be wary of me? Distrust me? Fear me? Worry about me?

Ironically, I am worried that I may lose the intimate connection I have with them due to me sharing one of the most intimate things I could have shared! I feel very emotional vulnerable. Most people avoid being emotionally vulnerable, myself included, because we don’t want to be rejected or hurt. But then I got to thinking…

When we put on a façade or hide who we really are so as not to be rejected or hurt, aren’t we in a sense already rejecting and hurting ourselves? If I am not being my authentic self then I am rejecting who I really am. That is so sad to me. Oh, how I don’t want to treat myself that way! To not allow myself to be who I truly am hurts my self-esteem and confidence, which in turn hinders my ability to develop and maintain healthy relationships.

When we do it to avoid being uncomfortable, aren’t we already uncomfortable? Now, I realize being uncomfortable comes in different degrees, and maybe putting on a façade is less uncomfortable than being real, but I think there comes a time in every relationship where the façade has to be dropped in order for true joy to occur. If your goal is to merely have a warm body next to you then keep the façade, I suppose. If, however, you want more than that, consider being emotionally vulnerable at some point in time.

When we hide who we really are to avoid losing friendships or relationships, if that were to happen, do we really want those types of relationships to begin with? Like I mentioned above, if your goal is to have someone, anyone, in your life then maybe so. If, however, you want the real thing, the good stuff, then love yourself and be real.

This brings me to a final point. In order to be our authentic selves, to be emotional vulnerable without the risk of wanting to harm ourselves if rejection were to happen, we first must have some level of self-love and self compassion in place. Getting to this point is not easy. It took years of therapy for me to get to this level, and even now I still have a fear of vulnerability, but I know I will be ok if I do lose those friendships.

If your fear is great, I suggest you work with a counselor or therapist or spiritual advisor. It is definitely worth the effort to be able to be emotionally vulnerable. Your life will be much better for it.