Tag Archives: Write into the Light

Submissions Now Open

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Turtle Way Logo

Turtle Way™ is Write into the Light‘s online literary art magazine. Our primary purpose is to deliver hope to those with mental illness through original works of literature and art that we create as we cope with and heal from our own mental illnesses.

We are currently accepting submissions in the following areas for our fall 2013 issue:
•poetry
•prose
•short-story fiction and non-fiction
•essays, opinion pieces
•meditations, inspirations
•photography
•artwork
•jokes, cartoons, humor (PG or G ratings only)
•facts about mental illness (with link to source)

DEADLINE for next issue’s submissions is August 31, 2013.

To be a part of our mission, please submit your original work for consideration in our next issue scheduled for publication in the fall of 2013 by closely following the submission guidelines posted at http://turtleway.wordpress.com/about-2/submission-guidelines/

 

The Do’s and Don’ts of Mental Health Blogging

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newspaper

The National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH) news reports that over 50 research studies worldwide have found that the type of news coverage on suicides makes a difference in the influence it has on the suicide rates of its viewers who are at risk for it.

The longer and the greater the coverage of a suicide story, the more likely vulnerable individuals may commit suicide themselves. Explicitly describing the suicide method and using dramatic headlines are big no-no’s as well.

However, “careful” reporting on suicides can change public misperceptions and dispel myths, thereby encouraging those at risk to seek help.

What does this mean for us mental health bloggers?

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While our audience may not be in the millions like network television stations or hundreds of thousands like those of major newspapers and internet news sites, I think we should still be responsible in how we describe our own struggles with mental illness and our own thoughts on self-harm and suicide.

I have seen bloggers on either end of the spectrum here. On one hand, some are overly cautious and post “trigger warnings” on most everything they write or vlog about. Trigger warnings are little blurbs that say, “Hey, I am getting ready to write or talk about something that could trigger negative symptoms in you, so continue reading/listening at your own risk.”

I like trigger warnings because sometimes I am in a bad space with my own mental illness symptoms to where listening to someone talk about their self-abuse habits or their detailed thoughts of suicide may cause me some sleepless nights at best, and at worst, may tempt me to entertain such ideas myself.

I have also come across bloggers who write about or post vlogs about the details of their childhood abuse, which is a huge negative trigger for me. For those of you who put trigger warnings on this type of stuff, I thank you, because I will skip those parts entirely. Maybe some people want to read about it; maybe it helps others, but for me it triggers panic attacks. In my opinion the details of such events are best dealt with in therapy or within your own private journal.

Now, I am not proposing we don’t mention the fact that the abuse happened at all. If it did, it is important to validate the horrifying affect it had on us. I am merely suggesting that the minute details of the specific acts themselves be kept out of public posts. To me, the negative effects on the reader far outweigh any positive ones.

Another hot topic in the mental health blogosphere is self-harm behaviors. Some bloggers not only name the behavior, which is acceptable in my opinion, but go on to detail why they do it, what it feels like and looks like, and the thrill or release or whatever “positive” thing they are getting out of it. I understand it works for many people (I used to be one of those individuals; I get it!) However, sensationalizing it, as the NIMH states, only encourages others to do it, and that is not what we want.

Based on NIMH’s suggestions, I propose that we bloggers:

  • Help reduce the risk of contagion by including posts or links to treatment services, warning signs and suicide hotlines.
  • Include stories of hope and recovery; information on how to overcome self-harm behaviors and cope with suicidal thinking.
  • Focus on solutions rather than just the problems.

What suggestions would you have for mental health bloggers?  Share them in the comment section below.

For a side-bar list of suicide warning signs you can include in your posts visit http://reportingonsuicide.org/warning-signs-of-suicide/

If you or someone you love is suicidal you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24/7 service that can provide support, information and local resources. For those outside the U.S., visit http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html to find suicide hotlines in your country.

How to Deal With Complex PTSD Triggers

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Dealing with PTSD Triggers

Current Symptoms

Racing thoughts. Obsessive compulsive behaviors, such as cleaning, organizing, exercising. Increased negative coping behaviors, such as overeating, smoking, and drinking. Physical pains, such as upset stomach, migraines, muscle aches and fatigue. Early morning waking. Increased irritability. Forgetfulness. Tightening chest. Racing heart rate – literally hearing my heart pounding in my ears. Shallow, rapid breaths. Dissociation or feelings of having an “out-of-body” experience.

These are common occurrences for those of us with anxiety disorders. This week, I experienced all of them (except for the drinking.) Only after forcing myself to sit down long enough to do some journaling was I able to identify the source of my anxiety…

Triggers

There is always a cause for anxiety. Did you know that? It just doesn’t come because “we are crazy.” There is always a root cause, and it serves me well to sit down and face the fear of finding out what it is, because once I realize what is causing it, I can deal with it, and the symptoms will subside.

Sometimes finding the cause isn’t as simple as it can be with straight-forward Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms, which are caused by specific events such as accidents and natural disasters. Sometimes the events are actually an accumulation of events occurring over a period of months or years, where the person is subject to long-term, repeated trauma as in the case of child abuse. In such cases, the term “Complex PTSD” is often used even though it is not officially a diagnosis included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) (at the time of this writing.)

This week my three-day anxiety attack which culminated into a full-blown panic attack was triggered by a few things. First of all, I shared my BPD story last weekend, which set my anxiety level higher than normal, but in and of itself didn’t cause me too much stress. However, add that to the fact that on two different occasions last week I unexpectedly ran into different individuals with whom I went to high school, and then the kicker was an unplanned evening of looking through my high school yearbooks (at my daughter’s request.) She wanted to see what her dad and I were like back in the day, and I didn’t think twice about taking a trip down memory lane. Next time I will.

Past Trauma

High school was a very traumatic time for me. My parents’ alcoholism was at its peak; dysfunction and emotional neglect were at an all time high in our home. Memories of those years are clouded with my own drunken states filled with self-harm behaviors and untreated bipolar and borderline personality disorder symptoms.

Before going to bed that evening, I made a passing comment to my husband about feeling a little anxious after looking through those yearbooks, and then I thought nothing more of it.

Three days later, I had my first panic attack in many, many months.

After quickly figuring out the cause of my anxiety (due only to writing about my feelings, which is why “Write into the Light” is my mantra) I began to ask myself many questions:

  • Is knowing the cause of my anxiety enough to make it go away?
  • Do I need to worry that these memories triggered me the way they did?
  • Is this a sign that I need to work out some more stuff in therapy with my counselor, who I haven’t needed to see in six months now?
  • Does this mean I am not healed all the way like I thought I was?

Healthy Coping Skills

I was a mess at this point. But, here are the skills I used to cope with my state of mind at the time. My hope in sharing these is that it will give you some ideas to try when you find yourself experiencing extreme anxiety.

First, I left messages for two friends who I knew would understand, and I also left a message for my therapist.

Next, I tried sitting with and observing my feelings, thoughts, and body sensations without judgment; trying not to push anything away nor hang onto anything. Just noticing and observing as if I was an outsider looking in.

I tried soothing myself by rubbing scented lotion on my arms and hands, which didn’t help much.

Then I decided to call my doctor to get an emergency refill of my PRN anti-anxiety medication. Luckily, the pharmacy filled it in ten minutes, and also luckily, my husband was due home for his lunch break and was able to pick it up on his way.

While waiting, I wrapped myself in a warm blanket and sat in a fetal position on the couch in a quiet room. This helped calm me immensely.

I also said some simple prayers.

I took my medication at the same time my therapist called back. After telling her what happened, she said that I might need to try some “exposure therapy” meaning that I look at the yearbooks when I am in a good place emotionally and mentally, and even then only for a short time, and maybe not with my young daughters.

Integration

I made the comment to her that I thought I had gotten past this part of my life, that my negative feelings about it were gone. She said they are always going to be there; that the goal is not to get rid of the bad memories, which is impossible, but to instead integrate them. Integration is the goal. (Integration: The organization of the psychological traits and tendencies of a personality into a harmonious whole.)

She also said that I should try to dig up a few good memories from that time. She said they are probably there, but are just overshadowed by the bad ones. At first I didn’t think she was right, but then I made a conscious effort to get out of my black and white/all or nothing thinking, and started thinking dialectically – where good and bad memories can co-exist. And guess what? She was right!

Discussion Questions:

When you’re anxious do you dig deep to find out what the root cause is? It may be something more than what it appears to be on the surface.

What physical symptoms do you have when you are feeling anxious? Do you take the time to sit and notice your body’s sensations and your mind’s thoughts during these times? Why or why not?

Subscribe to this blog by entering your email in the top right side bar above or if you’re on the mobile site, leave a brief comment and check the box that says, “Notify me of new posts via email.”

You can also connect with me on Twitter @writeintolight

Until next time…

Now On Facebook

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Hey, Guys. I just set up a page for Write into the Light on Facebook. Please go there now and LIKE. Thanks so much!

xo,
WIL

Let’s Talk About Mental Illness

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A single conversation with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books. ~ Chinese Proverb

Today, we may keep our thoughts and worries to ourselves. We may search for explanations within the craziness of our minds. We may consult books and the internet to find answers for why we feel anxious, depressed, and hopeless, and how to fix it. We may suffer alone in the madness, telling ourselves that no one understands how we feel, that we are unique in the torture we suffer.

Or we can be open-minded to the possibility that like us there are others who experience the pains of mental illness. We can seek out those who have been where we are; ask them about their experiences and how they cope. We can lean on others for strength.

Sometimes the problem is not that we don’t have the answers but that we aren’t willing to discuss the questions with another human being. We often and unknowingly perpetuate our symptoms by searching for peace on our own.

It is in reaching out, asking for assistance, and making ourselves vulnerable, if only by talking to an understanding and trustworthy person about our thoughts and feelings, that we find peace. If I surround myself with others who understand and support me, I will survive. Afterall, we certainly won’t be crazy at the same time! I will lean on others when I need to and they will lean on me in turn.

Today, I will talk to someone about what is going on inside of my head instead of isolating, and I will know peace.

Need someone to talk to? Need someone to listen who understands? I get it. Leave a comment and let’s share about it.

Codependent No More – Book Review

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Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More, How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself, defines a “codependent” as:

one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior

She details specific examples from her personal experiences and those of others to connect with her readers and offers practical solutions to those whose lives are affected by a loved one’s negative, often destructive behaviors.

The dominant theme across Beattie’s solutions is a therapeutic tool called detachment, which she describes as a separation of ourselves from a person or a problem in a loving way.  To disengage mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically from unhealthy people, from problems we cannot solve or ones that are not our responsibility to solve.  She goes on to say:

Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself, that we can’t solve problems that aren’t ours to solve and that worrying doesn’t help.  We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people’s responsibilities and tend to our own instead.  If people have created some disasters for themselves, we allow them to face their own proverbial music.

Sounds like a tall order for a world that has its nose in everyone else’s business or a country, whose attitude is often one of pass the buck, point the finger at the other guy, and cover up or, worse, buy a way out of facing the consequences of one’s own actions.

So, does this mean we are to stop caring, helping, and loving?  Is this a barbaric, every-man-for-himself type of detachment?  Beattie says not:

(Detaching) means we learn to love, care, and be involved without going crazy.  We stop creating all this chaos in our minds and environments.  When we are not anxiously and compulsively thrashing about, we become able to make good decisions about how to love people, and how to solve our problems.  We become free to care and to love in ways that help others and don’t hurt ourselves.

Sounds great, doesn’t it? 
I thought so and my next thought was, “Where do I sign up?” 
Or better yet, “Where do I get a prescription for this detachment stuff?”
If only it was that easy…

Have you read this book?  If so, what did you think about it?

 

How to Meditate – Book Review

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         How to Meditate: A Guide to Self-Discovery by Lawrence LeShan is a best-selling classic with more than one million copies in print.  Although, LeShan wrote this book over thirty-five years ago (in 1974), the benefits of meditation are needed now more than ever in our fast-paced, multi-multi-multi-tasking, high stress, latte-consuming society. 

        There are many ways you can meditate.  LeShan divides these ways into four different “paths,” as he calls them, which can each help you to achieve the same goals – less anxiety, better health, and a greater joy in living to name a few.  The paths are as follows:

1.  intellect
2.  emotions
3.  body
4.  action

        How to Meditate is a “practical instruction for anyone seeking inner peace, relief from stress, and increased self-knowledge.” I became interested in meditation several years ago when stress and anxiety started to negatively affect many areas of my life, including my sleep, my relationships, and my work.       

        Now, I meditate almost everyday for periods of five to thirty minutes. Even that little bit makes a huge difference in my anxiety levels and ability to calmly handle life’s normal stressors and even some of the big ones. 

        Do you use meditation as a way to cope with anxiety and/or depression?  How does it work or not work for you?

I Hate You – don’t leave me Book Review

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“Am I losing my mind?”  is the question in large, bold-red letters on the back of the first edition of Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus’s I Hate You – don’t leave me, a non-fiction book about borderline personality disorder (BPD.)  Kreismnan, a medical doctor, and Straus, a “health writer,” “offer much-needed advice, helping victims and their families to understand and cope” with this disorder.

          The book was published (copyright 1989) when BPD was not yet well-understood.  Therefore, more recent and effective management techniques for families and those with BPD are not available in this edition as they may be in the second edition which was released in 2010. 

         However, the symptoms and theories behind the causes and/or correlations of the disorder remain similar to what they were twenty years ago.  I Hate You- don’t leave me delves into these issues in both an objective and subjective way.

          The authors provide statistical facts as well as many case-study examples of the similarities that those with BPD share.  Those with the disorder will probably be able to identify with the first three chapters which are:

1.       The World of the Borderline

2.      Chaos and Emptiness

3.      Roots of the Borderline Symptoms

          In chapter four, The Borderline Society, many theories attempting to explain the shifts in our culture as possible causes for this disorder are explored with particular attention given to the authors’ own biases, including the breakdown of the nuclear family, an increase in two-wage earning households, and geographical instability.  Moreover, the authors state:

“Like the world of the borderline, ours in many ways is a world of massive contradictions.  We presume to believe in peace yet our streets, movies, television, and sports are filled with aggression and violence.”

“Ideally we, as individuals and as a society – attempt to achieve a balance between nurturing the body and the mind, between work and leisure, between altruism and self-interest.  But in an increasingly materialistic society, it is a small step from assertiveness to aggressiveness, from individualism to alienation, from self-preservation to self-absorption.”

[And finally,] “The price tag of social change has come in the form of stress and stress-related physical disorders, such as heart attacks, strokes, and hypertension.  We must now confront the possibility that mental illness has become part of the psychological price.”

          The last half of the book addresses those who have contact with individuals with BPD, including family members, friends, and therapists.  While these chapters give practical suggestions on ways to communicate with people who have BPD and also, how to cope with their anger explosions, rapid moods swings, suspiciousness, impulsive actions, and inconsistent communications, if someone with BPD were to read these chapters, they may – due to the very nature of their disorder – be offended.

          In summary, the authors, by their own admission, try to cover issues affecting both the individual with BPD and those whose lives are affected by someone with BPD, which leaves us with one book that has two halves; the first half being useful to those with the disorder and the second half being useful to families and others.  I think two separate books would have been more ideal.

          Do you or someone you know have borderline personality disorder?  Have you ever read I Hate You – don’t leave me?   If you did, was it helpful to you?

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        Do we do things we don’t want to in order to please others? When we say “no” do we often feel guilty? Martyrdom is for saints. We are not saints. We are also not bad. We are sick and we are trying to get well.

        Unless we are doing for others for “fun and for free” we are harming ourselves as well as lying to ourselves and others about our motives for helping them.

        Today, I will give freely that which I can afford to give. I will not risk my physical, emotional, or mental health by saying yes when I want to say no or by feeling guilty for making my health my top priority.

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Mental illness often runs in families.  Our parent or grandparent or other relative may have had or does have a mental illness.  Some of our family members may have been diagnosed and may be getting the treatment they need to recover while others may not.

When dealing with our family, whether they have a mental illness or not, they may hinder more than help our progress because of our deep emotional ties to them and theirs to us.  While they may love us, they may not know how or be unable to help us.

         Today, I will evaluate my support system.  I will call someone who is outside of my family; someone who can offer objective, unconditional support to me and I will know peace.