It is the season of fall here in the northern hemisphere; a time where the temperatures cool down, the leaves change colors and begin to drop from the trees, the grass goes dormant, and the days grow shorter and shorter. For a lot of people with mental illness, it is a time of depression. The professionals call it “Seasonal Affective Disorder (or SAD.)”
I have SAD, although with the mood stabilizers I am currently on for my bipolar disorder, my seasonal depression is not as severe as it once was. I used to use a light box to help combat my winter depression, but I haven’t needed it for years now. And last winter, I didn’t experience a depressive episode at all, which was a miracle! I made up for it this summer, but that is a different story.
While thinking about the changes that fall brings outside, I was also meditating on some changes I need to make within myself. I thought letting go of behaviors and beliefs which are limiting my good physical and mental health was, in a way, symbolic of the way trees let go of their leaves.
I know I want to set healthier boundaries with some of the people in my life. I tend to do too much for others while neglecting my own needs which leaves me mentally drained and physically ill. The belief driving this behavior is that I must be perfect to gain other people’s approval and that I need other people’s approval to feel good about myself. This belief causes me much anxiety, and when I fail, which I often do because no one is perfect, I feel depressed.
It is helpful for me to identify these types behaviors, and more importantly, the beliefs driving them, because they really do affect my mental health as much as the chemical imbalances in my brain do.
It is only by changing the conversation I have with myself in my head about what I believe that I am going to be able to successfully change my unhealthy behaviors. I have to plant the seeds of new, healthier beliefs this fall and let old behaviors die off this winter which will hopefully give birth to greater peace of mind come spring (or earlier – but I’m doing a metaphor thing here.) 😉
What unhelpful beliefs can you let “fall” away, and what negative behaviors might die as a result?