Turtle Way is Write into the Light’s online literary art journal featuring poetry, prose, and art from people with mental illness and those who love them.
New Issue of Turtle Way Journal is Out
Tag Archives: poets
Poetry and Risperidone
These pills are like duct tape across
my mouth, silencing screams
clawing to get out.
Thoughts muted; rainbows
fade to greyscale;
playground ball deflated.
Pen suspended mid-air,
stutters at best. Spittle
on an anorexic page.
And already…
The End
like premature ejaculation.
I’m so sorry.
Flash of Depression – a poem
The clock tick tocks,
pounding lines in my face;
breathing yesterdays gone;
inhaling tomorrows soon to be forgotten.
Where do I go
when there’s nothing left to do?
From whom do I receive
my final instructions?
Each second pricks my skin
again and again.
Eternity is my tattoo,
and I writhe in pain.
Loss of Bipolar Creativity
For several years I wrote poetry every day, feverishly. I felt like I would explode if I didn’t write the words in my brain. It was as if I was taken over by a force outside of myself, and what I ended up writing was as much as a surprise to me as it would have been to a stranger reading it. Exciting and energizing are the best words to describe the experience of writing poetry for me.
I loss the ability to access this side of my creativity about a year ago. It coincided with the time I started a new antipsychotic medication for my anxiety. I don’t know for sure if my creativity block has to do with the medication, but I strongly suspect it does.
I also experienced large amounts of emotional healing during that year, which may have contributed to the end of my drive to write poetry as well, since I wrote mostly when in emotional pain. Either way, I miss the rush of the flow of language spilling forth in a flurry, seemingly without effort on my part.
Below is a poem I wrote this week reflecting these feelings.
Fractured, a mind splintered
like a web-cracked windshield –
rock hit in the brain, dead center
or somewhere.
They never know where.
Will they ever? Neuro-
transmitter here, neuro-
transmitter there. A game
of hide and seek. Medication
roulette. Gambling while
drinking cocktails before bed
in hopes of getting
some fake sleep.
Thoughts that used to flow fluidly
down a single stream now,
split into multiple chasms;
fall into the abyss, trail off
out of creativity’s reach.
Has a psych medication ever caused you to lose your creative edge?
Write into the Light 