Check out the just published online issue of Turtle Way, a literary art journal written by those with mental illness. Poetry, prose, research, humor, photography, and more…
I wrote in a frenzy anything that came to mind. The pen ripped through parts of the pages, my hand started to cramp, and I couldn’t see the words through my tears, but I kept writing until I could breathe again…
Read more as I guest post today at www.depressionandbipolardisorder.com
So, wow, it’s been four months since I have written in my journal. I’ve been researching for a guest post about how beneficial journaling is for your mental health, so I thought I’d better try it again. I also bought a journal for my almost teenager’s birthday.
I tend to just want to blog when I write, but then I think I am censoring. I probably am, but it seems like I can’t write fast enough here. I can type a lot faster than writing it out by hand. I like writing on my blog because I like getting the feedback and then I think I may be helping someone. Also, even though it goes public, I know that no one in my house will read it unlike if I leave it lying around here in this notebook.
Maybe I’ll try it (blogging it.) Maybe I won’t. I can’t decide. I don’t know why I am so skittish about laying it all out there. I feel like no one would care to hear about the day-to-day little worries of my heart; like how I am having trouble with self care tasks; how it takes incredible effort to get myself to shower some days; how tired I am each day; how many hours I spend in bed while every is off to school and work; how leaving the house is something I’m beginning to dread; how I will have a short burst of energy for an hour or so, only to be followed by a day or two of extreme lethargy; how frustrated I am that a good month of being symptom-free may be coming to an end.
My mind tells me that I need to write of interesting facts, hopeful antidotes, and inspiring solutions. I want to offer answers, hope and ideas, but sometimes I forget that identification with the symptoms, the worry, the sadness, the depression, the illness is just as important, if not more so, for myself and others to not feel alone; to feel connected to another human being, even if virtually. To know that they are not the only one going through this turmoil and anguish is sometimes more comforting and helpful than reading about ways in which to alleviate such feelings.
I hope I have done that for at least one person today.
Photo credit: Pascal Maramis / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)
I have been struggling with something that we all go through, I am sure: that feeling of not being “good enough.” For me, it comes from comparing myself to others who are doing better than me, who are prettier, skinnier, more talented, and more successful than me.
The “I’m not good enough” belief is usually something that lingers in the back of my mind like an annoying leaky faucet; its drips constant but easily ignored if I distract myself with other activities. However, over the last month or so, the drips have become louder and more distinct; something I hear even over the most chaotic noise of every day life.
I paint an abstract on canvas, and my family encourages me to hang it on the wall in our home, but I can’t bring myself to do it because I think it isn’t good enough. I buy a new outfit only to never wear it because I decide it doesn’t look good on me after all. I have a plethora a topics in my mind to blog, but never sit down to write because I don’t think they are interesting enough to post. The list goes on and on.
I wonder about the cause of this surge of insecurities. I am hoping as I write about it some insight comes to me.
In the meantime, I am battling it by writing positive affirmations about myself, which helps a lot. I post them on Twitter if you’d like to follow me there.
Do you battle with the “I’m not good enoughs?” How do you try to beat them? Would love to hear your ideas in the comments below.
photo credit Helga Weber / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-ND 2.0)
Sorry this weekend’s prompt is a bit late, but here it is: If you could live in any decade or era, which would you choose, and why?
Write your response on your blog and link in the comments below, or reply directly in the comment section. You can also just write privately in your journal at home. Whatever you feel like doing. Whatever gets you writing! :)
Write about a time when you had a brush with death or found yourself in an extremely dangerous situation. How did it make you feel? Physically? Emotionally? How did it affect you short-term? Long-term? What did you learn from this experience?
Write your response in your journal at home, or on your blog and then share the link to your post in the comment section, or share your response in the comments below. Thanks and have a great weekend!
First of all, I’d like to welcome the plethora of new followers here to Write into the Light. It is so great to see this community grow with each new post. Whether you are new or not, I hope you’ll consider joining in this weekend’s writing prompt. Here it is:
Write about one or two people who have had the greatest impact on your life. It could be family members, friends, a famous person, etc. Write about how they have influenced you and your life in positive ways, and what you have gained most by knowing them or knowing of them.
Feel free to share your response here or on your blog, if you have one, or just write it out privately in your journal at home.
Hoping you have a wonderful weekend!
I am going through an unusual experience right now: I am relatively symptom free for the first time in years! How joyful and grateful I am for such a reprieve from the highs and lows of bipolar disorder. My mood fluctuations have been minimal or what I would consider to be “normal” for the past two weeks. They do not cause me worry or agitation or distress; my thoughts are positive; it is no longer a huge struggle for me to get out of bed and complete my daily activities, and I am patient with others and am enjoying my time with family and friends.
I am well aware that the nature of the disorder is for this period of well-being to end sometime, hopefully later rather than sooner, however my mood is such that I am not even waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I am simply basking in the glory of the good fortune I have been handed at this time.
Since I am feeling so well, my thoughts have turned to being more productive on a bigger scale. I feel like I am missing some creative calling in my life right now. My passions include writing, photography, and painting – all of which I do on a regular basis, but none of which I do in collaboration with others. I believe my passions would better serve others at this time if I were to work on a project with a like-minded individual(s).
This reminds me…I will be publishing a new issue of Turtle Way soon, so if you want to submit your writing or artwork be sure to do so ASAP. Also, if you have any other projects in mind, let’s talk and make something happen! I would love to work with you!
This weekend’s prompt is to write the longest gratitude list you possibly can. Add to it all weekend. Tell me how many things are on your list come Monday.